Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Be Patient
Be patient...those are the words by which I am currently existing. I feel stuck in this land of limbo; currency to one side and the the unknown to the other. "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..." The immortal words of Ellen Degeneres as Dory the Blue Tang fish with short term memory loss. Pressing forward and getting no where. WALLS ALL AROUND ME!
Monday, April 7, 2008
Time...
The year is falling quickly now.
All of our next weeks and tomorrows are becoming yesterdays and last weeks.
Everyday slips more quickly into the future,
sand in an hour glass...
breath from my lips...
The gentle touch of another person,
filled with promise, yet brief and fleeting.
These are the days, untapped potential, yet far too short.
Waiting...
Planning...
Hoping...
This is where I am,
Where I have always been,
Soon, it will change.
All of our next weeks and tomorrows are becoming yesterdays and last weeks.
Everyday slips more quickly into the future,
sand in an hour glass...
breath from my lips...
The gentle touch of another person,
filled with promise, yet brief and fleeting.
These are the days, untapped potential, yet far too short.
Waiting...
Planning...
Hoping...
This is where I am,
Where I have always been,
Soon, it will change.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
The end is near...
I am quickly noticing that things are unraveling all around me. I am splitting myself into two people: the one who strives to have that elusive "career," and the other being a child who is desperately clinging to the child and young adulthood in which I currently live. I don't know into which of these people I will morph, but I know that they are the only two options. Do I stay in the Status Quo, return home, settle into my house, my family, my old life? Or do I run forward into uncharted territories of my own life, to become something I am unsure of, to live somewhere which is yet to be determined?
I am watching my friends break-down before my eyes. We are all trying to make serious life decisions and non of us have the faculties to sort out the many faceted gem that is the decision of the rest of our lives. (I call it a gem because it can be either beautiful and mysterious or just a rock.)
The idea that we are going to lose the friends to whom we have devoted the last few years. Those upon whom we have depended for fun, for guidance, for love, no longer will they be a few feet away across campus. Now we will find ourselves across town, across the state, the country, and even across the world!
These are great times of anticipation, but they are also times of strife and silent suffering. We put so much pressure upon ourselves and have so much pressure put upon us by others, that it is unbelievable that we have even come this far.
All that is left to do now if cry about everything, laugh about everything, and decide everything. I know that we will hide within the nest of the secure present until the last possible moment when we are thrown over the cliff and expected to fly. We will fly, it may not happen the right away, we may have to come close to the ground, or even strike it, before we fly, but I have no doubt that we will be no flightless birds...the future will happen and we will happen within it.
I am watching my friends break-down before my eyes. We are all trying to make serious life decisions and non of us have the faculties to sort out the many faceted gem that is the decision of the rest of our lives. (I call it a gem because it can be either beautiful and mysterious or just a rock.)
The idea that we are going to lose the friends to whom we have devoted the last few years. Those upon whom we have depended for fun, for guidance, for love, no longer will they be a few feet away across campus. Now we will find ourselves across town, across the state, the country, and even across the world!
These are great times of anticipation, but they are also times of strife and silent suffering. We put so much pressure upon ourselves and have so much pressure put upon us by others, that it is unbelievable that we have even come this far.
All that is left to do now if cry about everything, laugh about everything, and decide everything. I know that we will hide within the nest of the secure present until the last possible moment when we are thrown over the cliff and expected to fly. We will fly, it may not happen the right away, we may have to come close to the ground, or even strike it, before we fly, but I have no doubt that we will be no flightless birds...the future will happen and we will happen within it.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Who knows...
Once again the days have passed and i have been absent from this blog space...it is so long ago that I can't even recall the last post! Today I find myself staring into the eyes of a terrible beast, it is snarkling and drooling...poised to attack me at any moment...but I won't let it, I will keep it at bay (at least for 6 weeks until graduation actually happens).
Just so much to plan before the rest of my life! I have to stop saying that, "The rest of my life," logically I know that it is only the rest of my life for one year, everything can change then if I want it and/or need it to. I just wish I knew what the day after graduation would be (me and about 1 million other graduating college students)! Who knows what that day will be like, I know that I am excited to find out...
Just so much to plan before the rest of my life! I have to stop saying that, "The rest of my life," logically I know that it is only the rest of my life for one year, everything can change then if I want it and/or need it to. I just wish I knew what the day after graduation would be (me and about 1 million other graduating college students)! Who knows what that day will be like, I know that I am excited to find out...
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Literary Devices
So, I watched the movie "Stranger than Fiction" yesterday and I was thinking about how cool it would be if our lives could be narrated! Why not have a voice giving us all the details of our own inner selves...and the details of those around us!? The one I like the most if the ol' foreshadowing, that is my favorite, it gives us a nice little clue...but nothing definitive...just enough information to go by, but not too much to spoil all the fun!
That thought brings me to my next point, one which I am playing very close to my chest at the moment...the future! Those six little words strike fear into the heart of every college senior...the unknown, the unseen, the FUTURE! (dramatic flourish)
Everyone asks the same question, "What are you planning to do after graduation?" I give the same response, "I don't know yet, I am still deciding." Will I ever really decide? I remember in High School when people would say how college is the biggest decision of your life...they were wrong! The rest of my life appears to be the biggest decision of my life. I keep asking myself all those, "Where do I want to live?" questions. I am uneasy with the fact that this decision does not fall on my shoulders, which is ok because I guess I should do as the Bible says and lay my burden on God, but it is such a big jump to make with my eyes closed! I guess I shall soon see what is in my future...(shudder)
That thought brings me to my next point, one which I am playing very close to my chest at the moment...the future! Those six little words strike fear into the heart of every college senior...the unknown, the unseen, the FUTURE! (dramatic flourish)
Everyone asks the same question, "What are you planning to do after graduation?" I give the same response, "I don't know yet, I am still deciding." Will I ever really decide? I remember in High School when people would say how college is the biggest decision of your life...they were wrong! The rest of my life appears to be the biggest decision of my life. I keep asking myself all those, "Where do I want to live?" questions. I am uneasy with the fact that this decision does not fall on my shoulders, which is ok because I guess I should do as the Bible says and lay my burden on God, but it is such a big jump to make with my eyes closed! I guess I shall soon see what is in my future...(shudder)
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